SERVICE CHARGES

Lately, I have started to notice "service charges" appearing in my life. Again, this pairing of words seems to be a violation of etymological etiquette to put it politely (as in "restaurant quality"), and if I may dare to be quite blunt, this coupling of nouns is simply a euphimism for highway robbery. In order to be more contemporary (and contemptuous) - I understand the phrase that is appropriate is a cyber-jacking...and there is nothing virtual (or virtuous) about it! Talk about semantics!

Ticketmaster is definitely one such insidious Wizard of the SC, and closer to home are the on-line floral order gatherers and the Wire Services. My objection to the "service charge" is that I have yet to witness any evidence of service, or a delivery of something that could be remotely connected to service. In fact, it is my casual observation that if there is any initimation of a charge for service then you should run like hell!

Ticketmaster also has the gall to charge for ticket delivery, which seems reasonbable, but at least they do give you the option to print your own tickets. Charge for that covenience? $2.50!!

Service my gluteus maximus!

I even had a dream about service charges which shows you how insidious these things are. I was staying in Orlando with my girlfriend; a short Stay-cation, as it were, in Florida. The Red Hot Chili Peppers were in town playing some shows, and it just so happened that we ran into Anthony in the lobby of our hotel. Since I had had a professional acquaintance with him from 'back-in'the-day' (I was a singer in a Punk band in Los Angeles as well!) I invited him up to our room where we chatted for a while. Anyway we came around to the topic of tckets for the show, and I asked if he could comp us a pair. Anthony said it would not be a problem, especially as FTD was sponsoring the show.

Sweet, says I. However, continued Mr. Kiedis, we would have to pay FTD a service charge of $217.25 for the tickets, plus a delivery fee.

Maybe it was a nigthmare.

Top photo - The Chili-Peps

Lower photo - the author of David's Diary, definitely back in the day

FUGLY

What in the world is going on?

It seems of late that many of our more progressive designers are requesting the most subtle and sophisticated roses in the marketplace. "Combo, Quicksand and if you can't find those sub with Camel or Sahara" are the cries we hear.

Hello? We have been promoting Combo and Quicksand for many moons, but it seems this fall their subtle and very understated  tones of beige and puce shot through (think shot as in 'shot-silk') with hints of autumnal tones of  peach, raw umber, rose madder and yellow ochre are highly sought after. 

Looking in the coolers for new varieties that might make suitable substitutes I came across this rose with which I was hitherto unfamiliar. In the subdued lighting of the coolers, snugly wrapped in the tight, squared-off corrugated packaging this rose looked incredibly promising. However, in the naked light of day, stripped of the vestiges of any wrapping the rose looked less beguiling, and revealed some rather cheap bubblegum tones.of pink.

As I am forever an optimist, I delayed judgement until it had hydrated and the flower had time to find a comportment that was more open and relaxed.

Unfortunately, the situation only got worse for this bloom called "Tamara", as not only did more pink become evident, displaying aspects similar to those of Toscanini and Vivaldi, but cruelly the way in which the petals opened was lacking in finesse or beauty.

Now, it could be that the roses I reviewed were from the first flush of the plants, and being an immature product had not yet fully formed their correct structure - but I doubt it.

It demonstrates just how thin the line between the sublime and the ridiculous (the f'shizzle and the fugly) is.

A few more things that make this rose a candidate for the supermarkets is that once the guard petals are removed the color becomes a distinctly bland pink. And quite a few guard petals had to be removed as this variety does not sustain the stress of handling and shipping well.

Two thumbs down for Tamara.

GREEN, HOW I WANT YOU GREEN

Green, how I want you green.
Green wind. Green branches.

The ship out on the sea

and the horse on the mountain.

With the shade around her waist

she dreams on her balcony,

green flesh, her hair green,

with eyes of cold silver.

Green, how I want you green.

Under the gypsy moon,

all things are watching her

and she cannot see them.                       

Green, how I want you green.

Big hoarfrost stars

come with the fish of shadow

that opens the road of dawn.
The fig tree rubs the wind
with the sandpaper of its branches,
and the forest, cunning cat,
bristles its brittle fibers.
But who will come? And from where?
She is still on her balcony
green flesh, her hair green,
dreaming in the bitter sea.


--My friend, I want to trade
my horse for her house,
my saddle for her mirror,
my knife for her blanket.


--My friend, I come bleeding
from the gates of Cabra.


--If it were possible, my boy,
I'd help you fix that trade.
But now I am not I,
nor is my house now my house.


--My friend, I want to die
decently in my bed.
Of iron, if that's possible,
with blankets of fine spun wool
Don't you see the wound I have
from my chest up to my throat?


--Three hundred damson roses
bloom on your white shirt
Your blood oozes and flees a
round the corners of your sash.
But now I am not I,
nor is my house now my house.


--Let me climb up, at least,
up to the high balconies;
Let me climb up! Let me,
up to the green balconies.
Railings of the moon
through which the water rumbles.


Now the two friends climb up,
up to the high balconies.
Leaving a trail of blood.
Leaving a trail of teardrops.
Tin bell vines
were trembling on the roofs.
A thousand crystal tambourines
struck at the dawn light.


Green, how I want you green,
green wind, green branches.
The two friends climbed up.
The stiff wind left
in their mouths, a strange taste
of bile, of mint, and of basil
My friend, where is she--tell me--
where is your bitter girl?
How many times she waited for you!
How many times would she wait for you,
cool face, black hair,
on this green balcony!


Over the mouth of the cistern
the gypsy girl was swinging,
green flesh, her hair green,
with eyes of cold silver.
A sliver of the moon
holds her up above the water.
The night became intimate
like a little plaza.
Drunken "Guardias Civiles"
were pounding on the door.
Green, how I want you green.
Green wind. Green branches.
The ship out on the sea.
And the horse on the mountain.

Ballad of the Sleepwalker
by Federico García Lorca
 
 
Recently we have been getting these strange and wonderful ranunculas from Chile which are part of a series developed by the renowned Italian anemone and ranunculas breeders "Biancheri".
The green centers have been encouraged to develop calyceous material which results in delightful eruptions of green form the bright centers. Of all of them however, my favorites are the green ranunculas each of which seems to be an unique creation.
And occasionally we get Green Zebras.

SPATHE-MODIC

Have I taken my puns using the word spathe too far? Did the little piggy cry "Wee-wee-wee" all the way home?

Notwithstanding the profundity of these questions as well as their solutions, I present four of the most recent new varieties of colored Zantedeschia  hybrids available for the fall season .

The spathe is the modified leaf that surrounds the spadix; the spadix is the small phallic-shape at the center of the spathe, whereas the actual flowers are in fact the tiny specks that "bloom" on the spadix. (See image to right).

The spathe is imbued with rich color, often speckled and mottled with another hue, especially in the case of oranges and red, and sometimes the whites and creams have another hue such as pink or peach applied like blush. Case in point is the new "Crystal Pink", which is very similar to the Crystal White and the Crystal Blush, but has slightly more pink. The difference between these three varieties is really a matter of degree, and all would be adequate as a white.

There are two new varieties of yellow: Firstly there is "Serrada" (sic) which has a slender spathe that offers a rather narrow disposition in a bright yellow imbued with a caste of lemon tones. Serrada seems to be a corruption of the Spanish word 'Cerrada', meaning closed.

The second yellow is a rather bold and brassy, featuring a spathe that is large, well developed and generally disposed to reflexing and which is a golden egg-yolk (free range) color occasionally limned with green at the apex of the spathe. The name of this variety is rather appropriately termed "Conca D'Or" or Golden Shell.

Lastly, a new calla called "Autumn Jewel" features a rather unusual and complex combination of dull brass tones and brown hues melded into a terracotta colored spathe. The spathe itself is has very attractive shape developing into the classic conical form of the Z. rehmanii hybrids and the red and brass tones contrast nicely with a golden spadix.

LUSTY LATIN

It is my understanding that there are approximately 150 ways to say that someone or something is hairy, and the name of this fabulous Leucadendron uses one of them. These dynamic floral items come form South Africa at this time of year. Use them to add silver flourishes to autumn expressions and detailed comtemporary sculptural  compositions. The spherical flower-heads resemble old-fashioned golf balls that have fallen apart, revealing the tightly wound guttapercha within. However, the texture is incredibly soft, like the downy fur just above a cat's nose, and from which the flower gets its epithet: Leucadendron pubescens. Now, I know some of you are thinking that it is a rather risqué name from those lusty, lascivious Latins but in point of fact pubescens means 'fine, downy hair', and is derived from the Latin pubescere which means  'to mature; to come of age' and which is also the root of 'puberty'.

Now is the time to take advantage of these novelty flower cones arriving from South Africa, as their  seasons are often quite capricious in nature, and can finish quite quickly. Fortunately, the different varieties seem to bloom one after another, so if it is unavailable, please inquire as to what other flower cones, globes and spherical materials are coming in from South Africa. Another economical asset of these products is that  they are quite hardy and have an excellent vase life.

E. ROY DAHLSON II; In Memoriam

On September 7th my uncle, Roy Dahlson, passed away. A man who was proud to be American and who fathered nine children, and yet when I came Los Angeles, he accepted me, a rowdy young man, into the fold of his heart. I am eternally grateful for the help and guidance that he extended to me. Roy purchased the Mayesh Wholesale Florist in 1978 and I joined the company  in 1983. He extended to me the luxury of learning about flowers and the opportunity to earn a living; which is a beautiful gift.

Thank you, Roy.

"Death is not the end

Death can never be the end.

Death is the road.

Life is the traveller.

The Soul is the Guide

              _ _

Our mind thinks of death.

Our heart thinks of life

Our soul thinks of Immortality. "

By Sri Chinmoy

ACE OF SPATHES

When I first started my travails on the Los Angeles Flower Market many moons ago, long before the imports really made inroads into the Californian flower industry, I recollect that all flowers had their seasons: Spring would be announced with the advent of blossoms and bulb flowers. In April and May  the wonderfully scented lilacs would arrive from the high desert and the awesome Calla Lilies (Zantedeschia Aethiopica) that were harvested fully open would come to the market by the bucket-load. Over the years, many of the small growers of these spectacular flowers have retired or stopped growing for various reasons, until the supply has dwindled to almost nothing.

Ten years ago I had a vision for a year-round supply of an "Open-Cut Calla" predicated on a very special packing procedure, and thereafter promulgated, nurtured and developed into a very popular item. In fact, the program was wildly successful, and Mayesh sold thousands of stems of the Callas grown in Ecuador each week, all year long.

However, over the past three years the callas, which are a species, rather than a hybrid, and exceptionally strong as a rule, succumbed to fusarium and phytoptora which severely weakened the plants' immune systems, and which were then attacked by Erwinia; a virus that until recently was only a threat to the colored Zantedeschia hybrids. This blight, apparently first reported in China in 1999 has now appeared in Ecuador, and has affected all calla growers, which is a terrible shame. It is clear that it will take some time to resolve.

Notwithstanding, the callas are still the best available as they are cut "open" which is where the true beauty of the flower lies. When they are cut tight they never reveal the true beauty that engendered the bestowal of the name "Calla Lily" from the Greek word kallos meaning 'beauty', and to which the Victorians ascribed the meaning, in the 'Language of Flowers', of  "Magnificent Beauty".

How sad, I often think, when I see the limp white tortillas in an arrangement, still wrapped tightly, much as when they were cut in the field. For sure, tight callas are easy to pack and ship but the product is as stimulating as the sad tomatoes in the supermarkets. On the other hand, the "Open-Cut Callas" are very difficult to pack and ship, and in fact a little tolerance and latitude is need to enjoy their full glory. The size and scale of these flowers means that 9 times out of 10 they will be viewed from distance, so a spot here and there will never be noticed.

DESIGN TIP: In arrangements, particularly when the composition calls for mostly or only white Callas, a few tight callas can be mixed in with the "Open-Cut Callas" and the overall look will still be very rich, as visually the eye surveys the result much as it would see the flowers blooming in nature; some will be fully open and some in various stages of development. This technique allows some relief from the expense of the "Open-Cut Callas".

The images here are the "Open-Cut Callas" from our grower in Ecuador, which were opened by USDA in Miami.